Kwezi veki zidlulileyo bendithetha nawe malunga nokuba ngumzali ngonamathiselo kwaye yile ndicinga ukuba ngumzali ukuba bonke abantu mabalandele ubuncinci iminyaka yokuqala yobomi babantwana bethu ukuze bazive ngathi abazali babo bayabathanda kwaye banike yonke into abayidingayo ukuze bakhule kakuhle. Ukuncamathisela ubuzali Isekelwe kuqhagamshelwano kunye nentlonipho kwiimfuno zabantwana, ukubeka oko bakudingayo ngalo lonke ixesha ukuqinisekisa ukukhula kwabo ngokomzimba nangokweemvakalelo.
Xa abantwana bekhula kwaye ukunamathela kukondla kugxile kusapho, Kuyimfuneko ukuqhubela phambili kwi uqeqesho olulungileyo apho abantwana bangabalinganiswa bokufunda kwemihla ngemihla nalapho ukomelezwa okufanelekileyo kungundoqo., inkuthazo kunye nokwenza kusebenze ukuzithemba okuhle kubalulekile kubantwana ukuba bafunde yonke into abayifunayo ukuze bakwazi ukuqhubeka nokukhula kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi babo.
Abazali kufuneka baphathe abantwana babo ngendlela abafuna ukuphathwa ngayo. Ukuziphatha kakuhle yintanda-bulumko epheleleyo ejolise ekukhuthazeni abantwana nabakwishumi elivisayo ukuba bathwale uxanduva nembeko ngokuthi baqale bamisele umzekelo omhle kubo. Uqeqesho olufanelekileyo lusekelwe kuthando nentlonelo, eyomeleza ulwalamano lomzali nomntwana, ngoxa... uqeqesho olungqongqo Apho igunya nesohlwayo zisetyenziswa kakubi, olu nxulumano luba buthathaka kangangokuba abantwana nabazali banokuphela bengabantu abangaziwayo ngokupheleleyo.
Ngapha koko, ixhomekeke kwiintsika ezikhethekileyo: imida ecacileyo nengqinelanayo ukunxibelelana ngentlonipho, ukusetyenziswa kwe iziphumo ezisengqiqweni kunye nezendalo Endaweni yokohlwaya, ukunxibelelana ngokuphandle nokwakha izakhono zobomi (ukuzeyisa, ukucombulula iingxaki, uvelwano, nentsebenziswano) ngundoqo. Ngokulungelelanisa ukuqina ngobubeleAbantwana bafaka imithetho ngaphakathi ngokuqonda, kungekhona ukwesaba.
Kuthekani ukuba awuthathi ngqeqesho ulungileyo
Okulandelayo, ndifuna ukuthetha nawe ngezinye Izizathu zokufundisa abantwana bakho ngokunamathela ngokuba ngumzali kunye noqeqesho olulungileyo ukuze bakhulele kwindawo ezele luthando nentlonipho, kwaye oku koko bakufundayo ukuze bakhule ngokweemvakalelo ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo.
- Hlonipha uloyiko abanokuba nalo abantwana bakho ekukhuleni kwabo, ukuba uhleka uloyiko lwabo (oluqhelekileyo ekukhuleni) udala iimvakalelo zentloni kunye nokuthotywa.
- Ungamenzi umntwana wakho akoyike nge amaxabiso angqongqo kuba oko kukhokelela kuphela kumngcipheko wokuziphatha okuchasene nentlalontle kwixesha elizayo, kubandakanya izenzo zolwaphulo-mthetho kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi.
- Ungaze ubethe abantwana bakho kuba oku nje Ndiza kube ndimfundisa ukuba angayenza naye kweminye imixholo kwaye uyakube udala iingxaki ezingokweemvakalelo nokuziphatha.
- Ukuba unengqeqesho engqongqo okanye enobundlobongela ekhaya, iya kufundisa abantwana ukuba ubundlobongela kuphela kwendlela yokusombulula iingxaki nabanye.
- Ukuziphatha gwenxa okanye ukulawula indlela yokuziphatha kuya kubangela ukuba ukuthembana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana kuphulukane Kwaye oku kungonakalisa kakhulu ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nabantwana.
Kunye nale mingcipheko, kukwajongwa ukuba kumakhaya anentswahla, inkxwaleko okanye izoyikiso, ukuhlalisana kuba nzima ngakumbi. Uxinzelelo kunye neengxabano ziyandaAbantwana basebenzisane kancinci kwaye abazali baziva benxunguphele. Ngokwahlukileyo, indlela efanelekileyo iyanciphisa ukunyuka kweengxabano, ikhuthaza ukuzithiba, kunye Iphucula intsebenziswano ezenzekelayo. wabantwana.
Ukutyeshela uqeqesho olukhuthazayo kukwanciphisa imfundo engundoqo: abantwana banokukhula ngaphandle izakhono zentlalo okuqinileyo (okufana nokuphulaphula, ukuthetha-thethana, okanye ukulungisa iimpazamo), kunye a ukuzithemba ubuthathaka ngakumbi kwaye ungazithembi kakhulu ekwenzeni izigqibo. Ukhokelo olunentlonipho lubanceda baqonde izizathu ezisemva kwemithetho, bathathe uxanduva, kwaye baphuhlise melela ebusweni bobunzima bemihla ngemihla.
Mqonde umntwana wakho ngokuziqonda kuqala
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abazali bakwazi ukucinga ngendlela abaziphatha ngayo nabantwana babo kwaye bayihlalutye namava abo obuntwana, bacinge ngendlela enokuthi ibe nefuthe elibi ngayo kwimfundo yabantwana babo esekwe kubomi babo. Kule ngqiqo, kubaluleke kakhulu funa uncedo kwingcali ukuba awuyazi indlela yokuphumeza uqeqesho olufanelekileyo ekhaya.
Ukusebenza ngokwakho kubalulekile: ukuzilawula ngokweemvakalelo zabantu abadala Kwenza umahluko. Ngaphambi kokungenelela, phefumla, uchaze oko uzivayo, kwaye ugqibe ngokuzolileyo ukuba wenze njani. Misela ukuzikhathalela (lala, ixesha lakho, ukucela inkxaso) kuya kukuvumela ukuba uphendule uvelwano kunye nokuqinaukuphepha ukuphendula ngokungxama okunokonakalisa iqhina.
Kwakhona zibuze iinkolelo zakho: ngaba unxulumanisa uqeqesho nesohlwayo okanye nemfundiso? Ukutshintsha loo mbono kwenza kube lula ukusuka kulawulo ukuya IsikhokeloXa ungayazi indlela yokuqhuba, thembela kwizibonelelo ezithembekileyo kunye nezicwangciso ezibambekayo.izivumelwano, iinkqubo(ukhetho olulinganiselweyo, iziphumo ezinengqiqo). Ngohlengahlengiso oluncinane, oluqhubekayo, imeko yentsapho iba ngcono ngokuphawulekayo.
Yenza ulwalamano oluhle lomzali nomntwana ngokuzithemba
Ukuthembana nabantwana kuyenziwa ukusukela ngexesha lokuzalwa komntwana, xa abazali behlangana rhoqo ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo zosana lwabo. Kuqeqesho olululo Kufuneka kusetyenziswe ubuchule obunje bulandelayo ukuthintela ungquzulwano, ukujikisa ingqalelo yokuziphatha okungalunganga kunye nokukhokela abantwana ukuba babaleke emngciphekweni okanye bajongane neemeko ezivelisa uloyiko okanye ixhala.
Ezinye izenzo ezilula ezomeleza unxibelelwano zezi ixesha lokudlala nengqwalasela eyodwa (nokuba yimizuzu nje elishumi), ukuphulaphula ngokukhutheleyo kunye nokuqinisekisa iimvakalelo: "Ndiyaqonda ukuba ukhathazekile, ndikunye nawe. Masifumane isisombululo." Olu nxibelelwano ngaphambi kokuba lulungiswe lubenza bazive abantwana ikhuselekile kwaye ixatyiswa, kwaye ngaloo ndlela basebenzisane ngokulula ngakumbi.
Imida ekhuselayo ikwakha ukuthembana. Cacisa izizathu ezibangela imithetho, ulindele iimeko ezinzima, kunye iyavumelana ngemithetho ecacileyo Sebenzisa amagama alula. Gwema "kuba nditshilo" kwaye utshintshe "kuba siyakhathalelana kwaye oku kunceda wonke umntu." Xa izinto ziphuma esandleni, sebenzisa i ixesha elihle ngaphandle (ikhatshwe ize imiselwe) ukuze umntwana aphinde azole, endaweni yokumahlula njengesohlwayo.
Uncedo lokuqonda umhlaba
Kuyimfuneko ukuba abazali bancede abantwana babo baphonononge ilizwe ngamehlo, ukuze abazali bavelane nabantwana babo kwaye baqonde indlela abanokufumana ngayo iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyoKuya kufuneka ukuba babavumele ukuba baqonde iziphumo zendalo zezenzo zabo ukuze abantwana bafunde ngokwendalo ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kubo.
Iziphumo zendalo (ukuba into enengqiqo ngokwayo iyenzeka) kunye ne iziphumo ezinengqiqo (Kuvunyelwene, kuhlobene, kuhlonelwa, kwaye kusengqiqweni) kufundisa bhetele kunesohlwayo. Umzekelo, ukuba uchithe amanzi, uthatha inxaxheba ukulungisa umonakalo ukomisa umgangatho; ukuba umntwana akacoci kwangethuba, umdlalo uphinda uqalise xa uxelelwe. Ngale ndlela, umntwana udibanisa ukuziphatha kunye neziphumo kwaye afunde. xanduva.
Ikhuthaza ukusonjululwa kwengxaki ngemibuzo exhokonx’ ingcinga: “Ziziphi iinketho esinazo?”, “Yeyiphi ocinga ukuba iya kunceda kakhulu ngoku?”. Le ndlela ikhuthaza ukucinga ngokugxekayo, ubuchule kunye ukwenza izigqiboXa abantwana beziva beyinxalenye yesisombululo, baba nentsebenziswano ngakumbi kwaye baqeshwe ukujongana nemingeni emitsha.
Uya kuziqonda indlela abaziphethe ngayo
Xa umntwana enesimilo esingafanelekanga kuya kuhlala kukho imfuneko enzulu yokuba kuya kufuneka ayifumane kwaye ayiqonde, Kungale ndlela kuphela anokuthi umntwana ancediswe ukuba afumane intlalo-ntle yeemvakalelo awayeyifuna kakhulu.
Ukuziphatha ngumyalezo. Abantwana basoloko befuna ukuba ngowabanye kwaye uzive ubalulekileKwaye ukuba abanakuyifumana indlela efanelekileyo, babhenela kwizicwangciso ezingancediyo (ukufuna ingqalelo, imidlalo yamandla, ukuvakalisa intlungu, ukuyeka). Ingqeqesho entle isimema ukuba sijonge izinto. ngaphaya kwempawu kwaye uphendule kwimfuno yokwenyani ngoqhagamshelwano, isikhokelo, kunye nokuziqhelanisa nezakhono.
Endaweni yokubhala ("uhlala usenza...", "awukhe..."), chaza okubonayo kunye ifundisa ubuchule obungekhoyoUkulinda ithuba labo, ukucela uncedo, ukunyamezela ukuphoxeka, nokulungiswa. Ngomonde, ukuphindaphinda, kunye nokungaguquguquki, umntwana udibanisa izixhobo ezintsha zeemvakalelo nezokuziphatha. Oku kunciphisa ukucaphuka, kuphucula intsebenziswano yoluntu, kunye komeleza ukuzithemba.
Nguwe umzekelo wabo
Kubalulekile ukuba ungaze uyilibale loo nto abantwana bafunda ngomzekelo Kubazali babo, kwaye yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba uzame ukuba ngoyena mzekelo ubalaseleyo wezenzo ezilungileyo kunye nobudlelwane nabo bakungqongileyo. Into oyenzayo okanye oyithethayo iya kuba ngoyena titshala mkhulu kumntwana wakho.
Ukuba usabela kwimeko ebandakanya abantwana bakho ngoxinzelelo oluninzi, unxunguphalo, umsindo, iintlungu okanye iimpendulo ezingafaniyo, ungabonakalisa ulwalamano ngokusisigxina kwaye kuya kuthatha ixesha ukuba unxibelelane ngokweemvakalelo nabantwana bakho. Ngale ndlela, kunyanzelekile ukuba abazali bakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo ezingalunganga nakweyiphi na imeko ephambi kwabantwana babo (nakweyiphi na iminyaka). Kufuneka usebenzise uvelwano kunye nembeko ngawo onke amaxesha ukuze ugcine ubudlelwane obuhle.
Kuya kufuneka wenze imeko-bume elungileyo, apho unxibelelwano, uvelwano kunye nokuzithemba zezona zinto ziphambili ziphambili. Ungaze unyanzele umntwana wakho ukuba axolise ade abe ukulungele ukwenza njalo, mnike ukhetho ukuze akwazi ukukhetha ukuba enze ntoni ngexesha elithile kwaye uhlala uzama ukuqonda iimvakalelo ezinamandla ... khumbula ukuba ungumkhokeli wakhe.
Yenza umzekelo wento oyilindeleyo: thetha kakuhle (“Hamba kancinane, nceda”) endaweni yokugxila kwinto ongafuni ukuba bayenze; cela uxolo xa wenze impazamo kwaye ukulungisa ("Ndiza kuzama ngenye indlela"). Sebenzisa ithoni ezolileyo kunye nesimo esivulekileyo: ummiselo wakho Ubonisa ukuzola kwaye ufundisa indlela yokulawula amaxesha anzima. Ngalo mzekelo, abantwana bafunda intlonipho, intsebenziswano, kunye ukuzithiba.
Isixhobo esisebenzisekayo semizuzu yemihla ngemihla: ukuba abafuni kuqoqosha, qinisekisa iimvakalelo zabo (“Ndiyazi ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nokudlala”) kwaye unikeze iinketho ezibambekayo (“Ungathanda ukuqala ngeebhloko okanye ngeemoto?”). Xa kukho iinyembezi, nikela inkxaso kwaye uchaze iimvakalelo (“Unomsindo kakhulu; ndiyavelana nawe”). Le ndibaniselwano ye uvelwano kunye nemida iguqula impixano ibe ngamathuba okufunda.
Imigaqo yokuziphatha kakuhle
Ukuba wena kunye nabo basondeleyo kuwe basebenzisa uqeqesho olufanelekileyo ukunceda abantwana kunye nabakwishumi elivisayo kwimfundo yabo, uya kuqonda ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani konke oko. Kuyimfuneko ukulandela le migaqo kwingqeqesho eyakhayo ukuze iintsapho zibe nokufundisa ngemilinganiselo eyakhayo:
- Nceda umntwana wakho azive edibana nosapho kunye nendawo ekufutshane.
- Nceda umntwana wakho azive ebalulekile.
- Khuthaza ukuhloniphana ngokuqinileyo nangobulali ngaxeshanye. Ukuba bhetyebhetye yimfihlo.
- Ngalo lonke ixesha gcina engqondweni ukuba umntwana wakho ucinga ntoni, uziva njani, ufunda kwaye ugqibe malunga naye ukuba azi ukuba makenze ntoni kwaye amkhokele njani kwixesha elizayo.
- Ukufundisa ngezakhono zentlalo nezobomi kubalulekile ukuba ubafundise yonke imihla (imbeko, ukukhathalela abanye, unxibelelwano, intsebenziswano nokusombulula iingxaki).
- Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba azi ngokupheleleyo amandla akhe kunye nezakhono zakhe.
Ukwenza le migaqo isebenze, Khumbula iingongoma eziziintloko:
- Qhagamshelana phambi kokulungiswa: Bajonge emehlweni, yehla kwinqanaba labo, kwaye ubonise ukuqonda. Uqhagamshelwano luvula umnyango wentsebenziswano.
- Imida ecacileyo nengqinelanayo: Zimbalwa, ezifanelekileyo, kwaye ziphindaphindwa ngokuzolileyo. Imigaqo kuvunyelwana ngayo, ikhunjulwe, kwaye isetyenziswe ngaphandle kokukhwaza.
- Iziphumo ezisengqiqweni endaweni yezohlwayo: ezinxulumene nokuziphatha, intlonipho kunye nokugxila ekulungiseni, kungekhona ukulimaza.
- Imiyalelo emihle: Chaza into enokwenziwa kwaye uchaze ukuba njani. Oku kukhokela isenzo kunye nokunciphisa inkcaso.
- Ukuthatha inxaxheba komntwana: Inika iinketho ezilinganiselweyo, imbandakanye ekufuneni izisombululo kwaye ibhiyozele umzamo, hayi isiphumo kuphela.
- Iindibano zosapho: Amathuba amafutshane okuphulaphula wonke umntu, ukuvumelana ngemithetho, isicwangciso, kunye nokuvuma inkqubela phambili. Bakhuthaza ukuziva ungowabanye.
- Ukuzikhathalela abantu abadala: Ukuzola kwakho sisixhobo sokufundisa. Yibeke phambili iinkqubo ezikuncedayo ukuba uphendule, ungasabeli.
Ukudibanisa le mbono kunefuthe kusapho lonke oluguquguqukayo: ukukhwaza kancinciIntsebenziswano eyongezelelekileyo, ungquzulwano lusonjululwe ngengxoxo, kunye nendawo apho ilungu ngalinye liziva libonwa, lixatyiswe kwaye linobuchule. Uqeqesho olufanelekileyo asikokuyekelela: Kukuqina ngentloniphoimida ekhulisa kwaye ifundise, kunye nobudlelwane obuba sisiseko esikhuselekileyo apho abantwana bakhula ngokuzithemba, ukuzimela, kunye nezakhono zobomi.
Ukwamkela le ndlela kuguqula amava kubantwana nakubantu abadala: ngokubeka phambili uxhulumaniso, ukubeka imida ehloniphekileyo, kunye nokufundisa izakhono zeemvakalelo kunye nezentlalo, ukuhlalisana kuyaphucukaIyanciphisa uxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla kwaye yakha ibhondi eyomeleleyo ehlala ngonaphakade.
